listen, actually, It's My First Time. 87 Days Until My First Time With a Loose-Ish, Innocent Girlfriend V1 - Ch 5

Chapter 5: What to Do in a Love Hotel 

[Nakamura Hiyori’s June 13th]

 

After listening to my story, Saki crossed her arms and said, "I see."

"So, Kaburagi-kun really is popular, huh? That childhood friend of his definitely likes him, don’t you think?"

"...You think so too? Ugh, I can’t believe I acted so childish..."

I had gotten really jealous of the girl who's a year younger than me, Hayato's childhood friend. I was feeling anxious and just wanted to touch Hayato, so I used the rain as an excuse to get close to him.

Every time I think back to it, I want to cover my face with both hands and roll around in embarrassment.

Even though I was pretending to be a composed girlfriend in front of Hayato-kun, hiding the aching jealousy in my chest... If Saki had been there, she would have definitely burst out laughing.

“You're not mature. ...... even Hiyori is still a child. You should have sex at least once before you start talking big.”

"Hey, Saki!? Your voice is so loud!"

I hurriedly looked around. The courtyard during lunch break was surprisingly quiet, with only a few students scattered a little distance away from me and Saki.

The fact that I'm still a virgin, despite all the rumors about me, is something only my best friend Saki knows.

If the entire school found out that I haven't had any sexual experience, my relationships with everyone would change drastically. I don't want to be disappointed or called a liar.

I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that they probably couldn't hear us, and resumed the conversation.

"V-virginity... doesn't really matter right now, right? What I want to say is about age..."

"What are you mumbling about? If you ask me, even her senpai at work seems suspicious. Right now, she might only see Kaburagi-kun as a cute junior, but with the right trigger, that could quickly turn into romantic feelings. If that happens, it’s over. In the end, he’s just another high school boy driven by lust... He’d easily succumb to temptation, get into a physical relationship, be cornered, and since he seems like the responsible type despite being a playboy, he’d feel grateful to break up with Hiyori to take responsibility..."

"Stop, stop! Why are you making such a sad prediction? I don’t want to hear it!"

"It’s because you’re not trying to deepen the relationship at all, Hiyori."

What Saki said, in her irritated tone, did have some merit. However, I was also surprised at myself for still being a virgin even after June had started.

What was completely unexpected for me was that Hayato-kun, who’s called a playboy, hadn’t made a move on me at all.

If Hayato-kun were to show that he wanted me, I’m prepared to respond properly. I mean, isn’t it strange that even after about two months of dating, we haven’t even kissed?

Considering that I’m rumored to be lustful, isn’t it odd that there’s been no sexual atmosphere at all between us? Are handsome guys who aren’t short on girls really this composed?

When I secretly consulted Saki about not knowing what’s considered early or late for kissing or sex, she, who’s usually lethargic, raised her voice so loudly that it startled me.

"Dating Hayato Kaburagi means you need to be prepared for these things. Popular guys have high competition rates. If you’re slacking off or taking the girlfriend position for granted, he’ll be snatched away by another girl in no time."

"…Is that advice based on your personal experience, Saki?"

Having been thoroughly intimidated, I felt a small urge to counter, so I made a modest counterattack. It seemed to strike right at Saki’s weak spot. Her expression darkened instantly, and she twisted her mouth into an evil grin so malevolent it felt like I could see a black aura of resentment in the background.

"…That's right! Ugh, now that I remember, I'm getting pissed off again! What the hell does 'I want to focus on soccer right now' even mean!? When I confronted him, he outright admitted he cheated and moved on to another girl! I'm so mad!"

Saki, who had recently broken up with her boyfriend from another school, sometimes gets like this. She just explained the reason for their breakup herself, but hearing stories like this always makes me realize how incredibly difficult it is to have a relationship based on the assumption that the person you love loves you the most.

"You might still be hung up on it now, but I think you'd be better off choosing someone more honest and kind, Saki. The guys you fall for always seem to have a careless attitude toward girls."

"…I know. But I don’t get excited by guys who are just honest and kind. I want to follow my instincts and love the way I want. So, even if it hurts, I’ll do it my way."

Saki's views on love are a bit too intense for me, but as someone who spent over a year pining for Hayato-kun without even asking for his contact info, I admire her in many ways. It's like a dog admiring a wolf—I just think she’s so cool.

"Saki, you're really cool, you know? If you were an active model, your statement just now would totally get featured in a magazine as 'Kagaya Saki's Take on Love' or something."

"Don’t be ridiculous. Anyway, I think being straightforward and inviting him is totally an option. Like, when you’re at Kaburagi-kun’s place, just say, 'Let’s do it,' and pull him onto the bed."

"That’s way too bold! I can’t just do something like that so easily!"

Even imagining it makes my face heat up. I don’t think I could pull off that role even if I were an actress.

"If you just make up your mind, it’d be easy, right? Besides, with Hiyori’s face and body, you’d knock out any guy in one shot… don’t you think, Mori?"

"Yeah. If there’s a guy who wouldn’t respond to an invitation from Nakamura Hiyori, he’s probably impotent."

Startled by the sudden low voice of a man, I turned around to see Hayato-kun’s friend, Masato Mori, standing behind me.

"M-Mori-kun!? Wha!? How long have you been listening!?"

"From the part about being featured in a magazine."

No way. This is one of those situations where all you can do is hold your head in your hands.

"Ugh, this is the worst! You heard both the silly stuff and the dirty stuff! Stop it already! You absolutely can’t tell Hayato-kun about this, okay!? If he finds out we’re talking about strategies like this, he’ll totally be put off!"

"He wouldn’t be put off. If anything, he’d get excited, so don’t worry."

Mori-kun, who, along with Hayato-kun, is known as the " Hareoka High Playboy Duo," always comes across as a bit silly with his comments.

"Mori, don’t you have some reason for coming to talk to us? Or is this just a pick-up attempt?"

"Kind of like a pick-up, kind of not? Hey, are you free this Saturday? How about the four of us—me, Hayato, Nakamura, and Kagaya—go hang out?"

It was an unexpected proposal, but I immediately blurted out, "I’d love to!"

It was a great chance for Hayato-kun and Saki to get to know each other better, and for me, it was an opportunity to hear all kinds of stories about Hayato-kun from Mori-kun.

"What about you, Saki? Let’s go, yeah?"

"…Well, I guess I’ll go, if only to check out your boyfriend with my own eyes."

Despite being a introvert by nature, Saki agreed without hesitation.

The joy on my face must have been obvious, as both Saki and Mori-kun looked at me and grinned softly.

"Alright, it's decided! I’ve already checked that Hayato’s free, so I’ll pick a place where the four of us can hang out."

"Thanks, Mori-kun! I’m so excited!"

While I was happily typing a message to Hayato-kun saying, "I’m looking forward to hanging out with the four of us," the two of them were whispering something to each other, but I didn’t pay it any mind, caught up in my excitement.

"Nakamura, what do you want me to call you? 'Nakamu' or 'Hiyorin'?"

"Neither of those sounds right; I’d feel weird. Just call me Nakamura."

"Alright, 'Nakamu' it is. And you can call me 'Gakkun'."

"Eh? Was there any point in asking? By the way, Mori-kun and Saki seem pretty familiar with each other. Were you guys already friends? You didn’t seem to have any connection, so I was surprised."

I ignored the "Gakkun" nickname and shifted the topic.

"Hm? We just became friends. So, Kagayan, let’s exchange contact info."

"Who’s Kagayan? And wait, don’t I get a choice in this?"

I’m not the type to be shy, and I actually like talking to people, but sometimes I feel like I can’t keep up with the vibe and atmosphere that comes with being around outgoing people. Like right now, where we’re exchanging contact info just two minutes after meeting.

"Well, I’ll contact you with the details later. …Oh, Nakamu!"

Mori-kun gave me a thumbs-up and flashed a bright smile.

"I won’t tell Hayato that Nakamu is still a virgin, so don’t worry. Later!"

Mori-kun, who dropped a bombshell that greatly disturbed my heart, left quickly while I was still confused.

Though he has a tough face, his tone and actions are lighthearted. But he’s funny, approachable, and, without saying a word, understands exactly what I want—he keeps my secret and doesn’t make a big deal of it. His ability to understand without asking is something I highly value.

I might be seeing him through the lens of being Hayato-kun’s best friend, but I thought he’s probably a good person.

"...Hey, Saki. 'Playboy' isn’t just for show, huh? Mori-kun’s vibe is different from Hayato-kun’s, but he has that kind of charming aura, doesn’t he?"

"...He’s flashy and seems kind of dumb, but he doesn’t seem like a bad guy. It was an accident that Hayato-kun found out about your virginity, but... I don’t know, I feel like he’s trustworthy. I can believe that he won’t tell Hayato-kun."

"Yeah. I don’t always trust your judgment with men, Saki, but I agree with you."

I received Saki’s playful chop with a smile, just as expected from her response to my comment.

"Shut up. Anyway, Hiyori, just come that day without thinking too much—just wear sexy underwear, that’s all."

"Eh!? The second part’s really making me curious! What do you mean!?"

I tried to ask more, but in the end, I didn’t get an answer.

 

[Kaburagi Hayato 's June 18^th]

 

The amusement center "Brave Sea," commonly known as Breshia, was the go-to spot for us students, offering a variety of activities like bowling, karaoke, billiards, arcade games, and sports, all at affordable prices.

"Breshia is fun for dates, but it's also great to come with a big group," said Masahito, who had picked out a bowling ball.

"I was surprised when I heard you invited Hiyori-chan and Saki-san, but thanks. I actually wanted to try hanging out with a larger group, including Hiyori-chan."

"No need to thank me... But, have you cut your nails?"

"I keep mine short because I can't stand them even a little long. With bowling, long nails seem dangerous."

Masahito sighed exaggeratedly.

"Idiot, that's not what I mean... Here."

Looking around to confirm that the two girls hadn't returned yet, Masahito handed me something. When I saw that the two thin small squares were condoms, I froze and couldn't speak.

"I hope we can have sex today."

"...Is that all that’s on your mind? We're hanging out as a group, there's no way that's happening."

"A man who is a playboy... I mean, a man should always carry condoms with him, no matter the time or place. And... the fact that Nakamura is wearing a skirt even though we knew we’d be bowling means... she’s putting in effort, right?"

"...For a man, such convenient interpretations can be dangerous, so I’ll try not to think about it. ...But if she chose it because she wanted me to think she is cute, I’d be happy."

"If you're too cautious, you'll end up swallowing your tears... Oh, Hiyori is coming back. Hide that."

"Sorry to keep you waiting! You two picked your balls really quickly!"

I hurriedly stuffed the item I had received from Masahito into my jeans pocket as Hiyori's cheerful voice echoed. I carefully looked away from her. When I first saw her in casual clothes, I thought they were cute, but thanks to Masahito, I was now self-conscious.

After Hiyori and Saki came back with their balls, the four of us began discussing the rules for our first bowling tournament.

"How about a punishment game for the person who comes last?"

Here it comes. I had expected someone to bring it up. I immediately opposed Saki’s proposal and suggested an alternative.

 

"No way! I prefer rewarding the winners rather than punishing the losers!"

Masahito, who knew the situation, was grinning as he watched me struggle.

"What do you think, Nakamura?"

"Well, how about we find a middle ground between both of your ideas? The person who wins can choose someone and give them any order they want. The key is that the person who comes last isn't always the one picked!"

So it's a king game without luck involved. With the system changed so that the loser doesn’t always suffer, I felt relieved and imagined the unlikely scenario of me winning.

If I won, what would I order Hiyori to do… something gentlemanly but also stimulating, without making anyone uncomfortable—an interesting order…

"You seem to be seriously troubled, but as long as I’m here, there’s no need for that, right?"

It was as if Masahito had read my mind when he said that, holding the ball in his hand.

"I’m serious about bowling, you know. I’m going all in to win!"

Masahito took a beautiful approach and threw the ball with impressive form. The heavy ball rolled straight down the lane with a satisfying sound, knocking down all the pins—striking.

"Yeah! That felt great!"

"Nice job, Morii!"

I heard that Masahito and Saki were playing together for the first time today, but they already seemed friendly.

"I’m good at games where I roll things with my hands. Bowling balls and girls are the same, right?"

"You really are the worst. I don’t want you to win against Morii, though! Come on, Kaburagi-kun, do your best!"

"Come on, Hayato-kun! Do your best!"

I raised my hand in response to the cheers from the two girls. It’s a guy’s instinct to want to show off in front of the opposite sex—especially the girl he likes.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. I’ve heard that in bowling, it’s not the pins you focus on, but the triangle marks on the lane. I aimed to pass through the space between the third triangle from the right and the center triangle, and threw the ball.

However, as soon as the ball left my hand, it went straight into the gutter. The ball rolled down the lane with speed, and there was no miracle that would cause it to hit the pins... It disappeared into the gutter.

I’ve done it now. When I turned around to the sound of laughter coming from behind me, there were the three of them, clutching their stomachs and laughing as expected.

“Seriously, Hayato, you suck at bowling! It’s almost like I’ve already won!”

“Your form when you threw the ball was horrible! Let me record a video next time.”

While Masahito and Saki were teasing me, it wasn’t unpleasant. In fact, if they’re laughing, then my embarrassing moment is somewhat redeemed.

“You’re laughing too much. By the way, I’m not just bad at bowling; I’m bad at most ball sports, okay? Don’t underestimate my athletic ability!”

If Masahito’s theory earlier was right, then it means that since I can’t handle the ball well, I must be bad at handling girls too. It’s fine as long as Hiyori-chan likes me, so I don’t really need to be that skillful… But… no matter how I say it, it just sounds like an excuse. Damn it.

“All right, I’ll take Hayato-kun’s revenge!”

When it was Hiyori-chan’s turn, she stood up with a confident smile.

“Hiyori-chan, are you good at bowling?”

“Heh heh heh. Well, just watch and see.”

The way Hiyori-chan confidently said that made her look like a seasoned warrior.

I couldn’t help but stare at Hiyori-chan’s back as she turned toward us, facing the pins.

Her slender, well-defined curves, her white legs, and her skirt fluttering with each step as she moved forward to throw the ball. I subconsciously glanced at the area where her underwear might be visible, and in my fantasies, I felt ashamed of myself. What the hell am I thinking while we’re all hanging out together.

The ball Hiyori-chan threw, with a form like that of a model, didn’t have the speed compared to Masahito’s, but with a beautiful spin, it hit the white pins and knocked all ten down in a stunning strike.

“Awesome! Hiyori-chan!”

I applauded excitedly at the amazing strike, almost forgetting the fact that I had been thinking about perverted things. Hiyori-chan showed a cute, smug face.

“Right? Right? See, did you change your mind about me?”

“It’s not so much that I changed my mind, but I’m totally charmed! That was so cool!”

When I expressed my true feelings while high-fiving her, Hiyori-chan blinked in surprise, then said,

“I was waiting for a response like that, so hearing it made my heart skip a beat... Thank you, I’m happy.”

Her shy smile made my heart flutter too.

As we exchanged smiles, Masahito’s voice cut in.

"Close, close! I thought I might get a glimpse of your panties, but I didn’t see anything."

Th-this guy...! I can't say anything since I was also guilty of just thinking about it, but he actually said it out loud in front of Hiyori-chan!

Panicked, I thought I should cover for her, but she smiled confidently and said, "It’s fine."

"I’m wearing spats to make sure nothing shows, so I’m good! I’m going to win today!"

Even though her panties weren’t visible, Masahito’s excitement was clearly rising.

"Nice, you’re going for it! This is getting interesting! Next is Kagayan, huh! How confident are you?"

"I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’d say I’m somewhere between Kaburagi-kun and Hiyori."

Saki-san’s self-assessment was accurate; in her first turn, she knocked down five pins but didn’t manage a spare, giving a rather underwhelming score.

"What’s this, no one else is a threat but Nakamura?"

"Huh? You’re pissing me off. Hey, Kaburagi-kun, how about teaming up? Right before Mori throws, I’ll pull his pants down, and you can hug him from behind to throw him off."

"Isn’t that role supposed to be reversed?"

Saki-san usually gave off a laid-back impression, but I realized she was a person who liked to joke around and was very competitive.

Although there were individual differences in skill, the penalty game setting, where the winner could give any command to one person, really spiced up our competition. Unfortunately, I was sure I would come last, but we all had a great time laughing together.

After finishing three games, the result was──.

"Yay! I’m in first place!"

"Damn it! Only a nine-pin difference, that’s within the margin of error! Can’t we have a tie for first place?!"

Hiyori-chan, who gave a peace sign to Masahito, who was whining with logic that would make a professional bowler furious, wore a victorious smile.

 

☆

 

To have lunch, we moved to a nearby fast-food restaurant.

As the winner, Hiyori-chan held the authority to decide whom to command. While the three of us nervously awaited the words of the victor, she finally lifted the corners of her mouth and pointed a long fry at Masahito.

"Alright, I’ll give my command to Mori-kun, who had an intense match with me!"

"Wait, me!? Why me?! Just order Hayato, who came in dead last, to do something! He’s your boyfriend anyway!"

"Don’t defy the winner! Now, here’s your order!"

Watching Hiyori-chan swiftly cut down Masahito's unseemly protests, I couldn’t help but feel genuinely relieved that I wasn’t chosen.

If, for example, the winner hadn’t been her, I might have faced uncomfortable questions like, "How many people have you been with?" or "What’s the most thrilling thing you’ve ever done?" In such a scenario, I wouldn’t want to tell a clumsy lie, but admitting I had no experience would completely destroy the image of Kaburagi Hayato. I’d be utterly stuck.

"Tell us a secret about Hayato-kun that only Mori-kun knows."

Masahito, who had braced himself, was caught off guard, while I, who had let my guard down, was wide-eyed at the question.

"Wait a second. Doesn’t that make this more like my punishment than Masahito’s?"

If Masahito said something weird, it would be unbearable. Growing anxious, I tried persuading Hiyori-chan.

"Yeah, yeah. Show more interest in me, Nakamura! I’ll answer anything about my secrets, no holds barred! Like why I’m so popular or what type of girls I like!"

"Well, Mori-kun's secrets don't interest me much. Tell me about Hayato-kun, okay?"

Realizing that there was no use trying to change the topic, Masahito scratched his head in resignation.

"…If that's the question you’re sticking with, Nakamura, then I’ll answer. But, you know, just talking about Hayato’s secrets feels kind of unfair, so I’ll mix in a bit about myself. …Nakamura, Kagayan, do you know about the time I got suspended in May during our first year?"

I was about to interrupt Masahito with a "Don't just give up like that," but I shut my mouth, realizing what he was about to say.

Hiyori-chan exchanged glances with Saki-san before shaking her head. Since it wasn’t an incident made public, only a few people likely knew about it.

"There were cigarette butts found in the boys’ restroom for first-years. There wasn’t a shred of evidence that I was the one smoking, but apparently, someone claimed to have seen me. Honestly, I think it was some guy holding a grudge against me over some girl stuff."

Saki-san, after taking a sip of her shake, let out a short laugh and said, "Ah, yeah, you’ve got plenty of people who hold grudges against you, boys and girls alike."

"Yeah, no kidding. …Anyway, because of my bad reputation, the teachers had been keeping an eye on me since the beginning of the year. They just assumed I was guilty right from the start. No matter how much I explained, they didn’t believe me, and I ended up suspended for a week. I got so fed up and frustrated that I didn’t care anymore. I thought, 'If I end up getting expelled, so be it,' and didn’t even bother with the assignments they gave me. And then…"

Masahito glanced at me, looking embarrassed, and then averted his gaze again.

"Hayato started coming to my house every day after school. And every time, he’d say, ‘I believe Masahito isn’t the culprit,’ and passionately talk about it. Annoying, right? To a guy he’d only been hanging out with for barely over a month after ending up in the same class by chance? But then, he went out of his way to gather testimonies from students and finally found someone who could prove I was on a date in town at the time. He shut the teachers up with that."

That was the reason Masahito’s suspension didn’t become a big scandal.

Since an erroneous punishment would harm the school’s reputation, the teachers avoided bringing it up at all costs, keeping it under wraps. While Masahito had initially been dissatisfied with the school’s response, their eventual apology and the fact that no rumors spread seemed to help cool his head. Nowadays, he could talk about the incident with a calm attitude.

"Hey, Masahito, how many times do I have to tell you? All I did was go around listening to what people had to say. I didn’t do anything significant. And seriously, what part of that story qualifies as my secret?"

"The secret is that the smooth and dashing Kabu... Kaburagi Hayato has a surprisingly intense side. Those cheesy lines and gritty actions are like something out of an old-school coming-of-age movie."

"Man, when you put it like that, it’s seriously embarrassing… Maybe I should’ve just left you high and dry back then."

As Masahito and I exchanged playful banter, Hiyori-chan watched us with a smile.

"But you know, most people wouldn’t be able to do something like that. I think I like you even more now, Hayato-kun."

She said it with a radiant smile, her gaze locked on me. Whether it was an innocent slip, an act of pure sincerity, or a calculated attempt to pierce my heart, I couldn’t help but feel my chest tighten at her words.

"She’s right, though," Saki-san chimed in. "Fighting against the teachers is pretty much a losing battle. And sticking your neck out for Mori could’ve just made you an accomplice. There wasn’t much benefit in it for you."

Masahito nodded in agreement.

"That’s the thing, though. Hayato doesn’t weigh things based on personal gain. He’s genuinely someone you can trust, and that’s something I really admire about him. That’s why, no matter what happens, I’ve decided I’ll never betray Hayato. No matter what, I’ll always have his back."

Masahito flashed a grin, showing off his white teeth.

Hearing his true feelings for the first time stirred a mix of embarrassment and warmth in me. It lit a small flame in my chest, lifting my spirits.

In other words, I felt genuinely happy.

"Ahh, talking seriously for once totally wore me out! Hey, Hayato, I just boosted your stock in front of Nakamura under the guise of spilling a secret, so make sure you transfer a little to my account later, yeah?"

"Don’t pull some scam artist nonsense! …Do me a favor and negotiate that when Hiyori-chan’s not around. I’ll pay whatever you want."

As we wrapped up with our usual nonsense, I found myself reaffirming my desire to stay friends with Masahito for the long haul. Sure, he’s a joker, but he’d never lie in a way that would hurt a friend. He’s someone you can trust as a person.

"Alright, the punishment game is officially over! Masahito-kun, I’ll accept a rematch anytime! Though, of course, I’ll win again."

"Next time, I’m taking you down for sure! And the punishment I come up with won’t be as tame as Nakamura’s! You better be ready—it's gonna be extremely spicy!"

"Masahito, how do you manage to say that in front of me, her boyfriend? Honestly, I’m worried you’re going to get yourself stabbed one day."

Not even a minute after declaring him trustworthy, I found myself rethinking it.

Despite that, Masahito didn’t seem to have taken any damage, either physically or mentally, from this so-called punishment game. While it might not have been much of a "punishment," seeing Hiyori-chan’s satisfied smile and knowing she cared enough to be interested in me and my friends left me smiling too.

"Still, I’m glad I got to hear such a lovely story. We should definitely hang out again, even if it’s not for bowling. Then I can ask Masahito more about you, Hayato-kun!"

As she leaned in close to munch on a fry, I reached out and lightly patted Hiyori-chan on the head.

“There's no need for punishment games; if you ask me, I’ll answer anything. After all, Hiyori-chan is my girlfriend,” I said.

Honestly, I don’t really know what relationships are supposed to look like. My limited experience and knowledge leave me clueless. But I do know this: I want her to know everything about me, and I’d like to learn as much about her as she’s willing to share. Maybe it’s not the typical playboy mindset, but it’s how I feel.

“…Then, I’ll start asking without holding back. I like you, Hayato-kun, so now I just… want to know you even more.”

Hiyori-chan’s shy smile filled me with relief. Good, it didn’t seem like she was put off by my words.

As I thought about how wonderful it would be to deepen our understanding of each other through conversations like these, and to build a relationship where we’d still want to stay together no matter what,

“You two over there—save the flirting for later, please!”

Saki-san, who had been fiddling with her phone, interrupted us and turned the screen towards us.

“I found a place I want to go! Look, here.”

The place she was referring to appeared to be some sort of room. A large bed dominated the space, positioned perfectly to watch an equally large TV from it. There was also a jacuzzi, which could apparently be lit in a range of colors to suit your mood. Oh, and it even had karaoke. As I scanned the screen, my eyes landed on the prices for short stays and overnight accommodations.

Wait…

My slow brain finally caught up, and my eyes widened in realization.

No way. This is…

“Oh yeah, I totally recommend this love hotel. Been there a few times—it’s great. You can pay in the room, and the food is amazing,” Masahito said nonchalantly, confirming exactly what I feared.

"Wait... a l-love hotel? We're going? I mean... not that I'm not used to it or anything, but... are you saying the four of us are going there now?"

I stumbled over my words, panicking at the bluff I just made about being "used to it." I shot a quick glance at Hiyori-chan. She seemed a little flustered too, but surely she wouldn't be as thrown by the mention of a love hotel as I was. Maybe she wanted to avoid going because it reminded her of a place she went with an ex.

"It's totally normal for a group to go to a love hotel these days," Saki-san said with a casual wave of her hand. "Girls' parties there are trending right now. Look."

She showed us her phone, where her SNS feed was filled with photos of groups of girls having a blast partying in love hotels.

So, this is a thing now? I guess I’m just out of the loop. When you think about it, it does make sense. At someone's house, you'd have to worry about noise and being considerate of the host. At a love hotel, you can let loose without those concerns.

"Exactly! The interiors are stylish, you can bring your own food, and no one will complain no matter how loud you get. Stop overthinking it. Come on, Hayato—it's not like we're suggesting an orgy or anything."

"Of course not, you idiot! A love hotel, huh..."

For a virgin like me, the idea of going to a love hotel with a mixed group felt a little daunting. But when Saki-san and Masahito talked about the perks so casually, I couldn’t help but think that this must be normal behavior for socially adept people—or at least for people like them.

And maybe, if I ever really do go to a place like this alone with Hiyori-chan someday, this experience might help me avoid panicking or getting overly nervous. Today, it’s just the four of us anyway. Resisting or acting uncomfortable might even make things weirder.

If I don't play it cool, they might figure out I’m a virgin.

"Alright, then. Let’s go," I said, trying to sound casual.

In moments like these, playing it cool is the only option.

"Hiyori, it's okay with you, right?"

Saki-san asked, and Hiyori-chan, as I had suspected, seemed a little uneasy, probably because of some bad memories associated with that kind of place. She responded with a slightly awkward smile.

"Yeah, it's fine... but, um, I might have forgotten some things since it's been a while. Please, Saki, help me out, okay?"

"Hmm, forgotten? ...Alright, alright. Leave it to me!"

"When Saki repeats the same word twice like that, it usually means she's teasing me or lying, so I'm kind of worried here!?"

Their conversation was a bit concerning, but I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts to pay it much attention. I didn’t have the mental space to think too deeply about it.

 

☆

 

I was in a completely clueless state about love hotels, feeling like a total rookie, so I thought I would just quietly follow behind Masahito. But before I knew it, an unexpected situation arose.

As we arrived at the nearest station and walked toward the love hotel, Masahito stopped in front of a convenience store.

"I’m going to grab some snacks with Kaguya, then we’ll meet up with you guys later. You and Nakamura can go ahead and check into the room first."

"Eh!? I thought I was going with you to buy stuff?"

"It’s fine. The hotel isn’t reserved in advance, so go ahead and check if the room is available. If it’s full, let me know."

Masahito and Kaguya suddenly split off, and even though I tried to play it cool, anxiety started to build up.

Wait, so with a love hotel, can we just enter the room if it’s available? Don’t they check the number of people first? A lot of questions popped up, but I was too nervous to ask. If I did, they might figure out I had never been to a love hotel before.

I couldn’t tell whether what they said was true, so it seemed best to just go along with what the experienced ones said.

"Alright, I’ll contact you if there’s any issue."

"Okay, take care of it then. Kaburagi, please escort Hiyori," Saki said, waving her hand, and I gathered my courage.

"Sure, leave it to me... So, Hiyori-chan, shall we go?"

My heart was racing with anxiety and nervousness, but I couldn’t help but act like I had everything under control.

"Y-yeah. Saki, please try to meet up with us quickly, okay? I can always go to a love hotel with you, but it’s a rare experience to go with all four of us!"

She says we can go anytime... Just what you’d expect from an experienced girl—so calm and composed.

Before stepping into the unknown world of a love hotel, I steeled myself, determined not to let any rookie mistakes or awkwardness betray my inexperience in front of Hiyori-chan.

At the convenience store, I temporarily parted ways with Masahito and Saki-san, and Hiyori-chan and I started walking together.

Recently, I had grown used to situations where it was just the two of us, and it had become a time to simply savor happiness. But right now, nervousness was outweighing everything else.

"Ah, it looks like we’ve arrived..."

Hiyori-chan, looking at the map Saki-san had sent to her smartphone, announced our arrival at the destination. My heart was pounding ridiculously fast as I entered the hotel with her—though she wasn’t unfamiliar with such places, it was my first time. The tension was a mix of anxiety about her noticing my inexperience and the overwhelming excitement of coming here with someone I liked.

Apparently, you could select a room using a touch panel. If I remember correctly, the room Saki-san wanted was numbered "304." Oh, good, it’s available. Hmm, interesting—there aren’t identical rooms; the price changes based on the size and features.

Someday, if I could come here with Hiyori-chan for "that kind of purpose"...

"Hayato-kun?"

Lost in thought in front of the panel, I was brought back to reality by Hiyori-chan’s voice.

"S-sorry, sorry! I was just thinking about which room would be best for us if we ever came here together, you know, and my mind wandered."

I apologized earnestly, blending both an excuse and the truth. I wonder if this explanation was enough to cover it up.

"I-I see, so that’s it. ...Hey, let’s hurry and go to the room, okay? Since it’s just the two of us before Saki and Mori-kun get here, well, it’s a rare chance for us to be alone..."

Hiyori-chan, wrapping herself around my left arm, had me more flustered than ever as I operated the panel. Would I be able to keep my composure until the other two arrived?

As we rode the narrow elevator and walked down the deserted hallway, I couldn’t stop worrying that she might hear my pounding heart. Even though my mind felt disconnected from reality, with each step forward, we certainly reached the room—unless someone had an extreme sense of directionlessness.

Without looking at Hiyori-chan, I opened the door.

The room that unfolded before my eyes felt like an entirely different dimension.

"Wow... what a cute room," I said.

The black wallpaper had an elegant pattern, and next to the large white bed was a bright red double sofa. Seeing it in person was completely different from seeing it in pictures. To be blunt, the atmosphere screamed, "This is a room designed for sex."

As I took in the interior and inwardly thought, This is bad..., Hiyori-chan, who seemed used to this, was already bouncing lightly on the bed.

"This is like three times fluffier than my bed at home!" she exclaimed, testing the mattress's springiness.

Was this an invitation for me to join her? Honestly, the idea of getting closer to the bed made my heart pound even harder, and I wanted to avoid it. But acting naturally, as if drawn in, was probably the right move if I wanted to seem confident.

"That much, huh? Oh, wow, you're right. Feels like you could fall asleep in ten seconds," I said, sitting casually beside her as though it was no big deal. Just feeling the mattress sink under the weight of the two of us was enough to make my head spin.

When I sat down next to her, Hiyori-chan smiled shyly.

"Are you really going to fall asleep in ten seconds, Hayato-kun?"

"Only when I'm alone. There's no way I'd fall asleep when I'm with you, Hiyori-chan. I wouldn't waste such a precious moment."

Since we finally had the chance to be alone, I wanted to talk as much as possible. Hoping Hiyori-chan felt the same way, I smiled at her, but for some reason, she blushed and looked shy.

Just as I was about to ask her what was wrong, the phone in my pocket buzzed. It was probably Masahisa.

"Maybe Masahito and the others have arrived," I said.

Relieved, I opened the message, only to see :

"We’re not coming to the hotel. Enjoy yourselves, just the two of you."

The shocking text was so outrageous that my eyes practically popped out of my head.

Feeling my heartbeat grow even louder, I hastily typed out a reply:

"What are you talking about? We’ve already got the room. Cut the bad jokes. When will you guys get here?"

The response came quickly :

"Just make sure to use protection ♡"

That bastard...! He even added a heart emoji, as if this wasn’t already irritating enough. What kind of "assist" was he trying to pull?

Masahisa knew about my one-sided feelings for Hiyori-chan, so his true playboy mentality was to push me into making a move before she slipped away. Even I understood that his actions came from a place of 100% genuine goodwill.

But I wanted to decide the timing myself. This wasn’t something I should do just because a friend told me to.

After sending another message to Masahisa, I noticed it remained unread. Thinking it was pointless to wait, I tried calling him, but as expected, he didn’t answer.

"What’s wrong?" Hiyori-chan asked, tilting her head slightly.

I responded as casually as I could.

"…Those two said they’re not coming today. …For now, why don’t we just relax until it’s time?"

Suggesting, "Should we change locations?" or leaving the decision up to the girl by saying, "What should we do?" would completely destroy the façade of being a playboy, even if it was just a lie. A man should at least try to act confident, even if it’s just for show.

"What? Really!? …Oh, you’re right, I just got a message from Saki, too… Geez, what’s her problem!"

With that, Hiyori-chan flopped onto the bed, lying on her back without a second thought. Our eyes met.

At that moment, I thought, If I leaned over her like this, she’d probably accept it.

"…I’m starting to get hungry. Want to order something from room service?" I said instead, averting my gaze. We’d just eaten lunch earlier with Masahito and the others, so there was no way I was actually hungry.

In the meantime, Hiyori-chan sat up and moved to sit beside me again.

"Y-yeah, good idea! S-so, Hayato-kun, what do you want to eat?"

"Uh… Well, I think I’ll get this. A platter of fries and some mentaiko pizza."

"Hehe, you already had fries earlier. Hayato-kun, you must really love fries," Hiyori-chan teased with a smile.

I didn’t want to seem unfamiliar with love hotels, so I didn’t have the courage to pick something unconventional and settled on the safe choice—fries. From today on, I’d just have to play it off as my favorite food.

As the small lies I told began to pile up, so did the guilt I felt toward her. To cover it up, I tried to keep the mood light and filled the time with cheerful conversation until the food arrived.

But when the fries, pizza, and even dessert arrived, I was too tense to actually enjoy the flavors. I ate everything, stuffing myself to the point where I felt like I couldn’t even fit a single chocolate ball.

…Was Hiyori-chan hungry? I was relieved she ate without showing any signs of displeasure. Or maybe it was just her being considerate. I felt bad about it, but her kindness only made me like her even more.

"I ate so much! I’ll tell my mom I don’t need dinner tonight," she said.

—Which meant staying out late was fine?

At that moment, I realized I wasn’t just a guy with pure and innocent feelings anymore.

Even the casual things Hiyori-chan said caused me to overreact, as my mind was now completely preoccupied with thoughts of intimacy.

Am I that weak-willed? Just earlier, I was acting all cool, saying I wanted to decide the timing myself. But now, I was getting increasingly excited and unable to calm down.

Of course, I wanted to. But was it really okay? Should I cross that line with someone I truly love in such a pre-arranged scenario?

I tried to lead the conversation toward something completely unrelated to anything sexual, in an effort to regain my composure.

"Did you know? All gorillas are blood type B," I said out of nowhere.

Why gorillas? The conversation I’d had with Masahito at the ramen shop resurfacing here made me wonder if my conversational drawer had a broken retrieval system.

"Really? Let me look that up!" Hiyori-chan quickly searched on her phone. "Oh, look at this. Strictly speaking, about 90% are blood type B. Most gorillas are western lowland gorillas, and they’re all type B, which is why people say that."

"The phrase 'gorilla population' sounds weird, doesn’t it?" I pointed out with a laugh.

"Ahaha, true! Then how about... 'gori-pulation'?"

"That must be it. You’re so smart, Hiyori-chan! Incidentally, my whole family is type O."

"You’re totally making fun of me! But wait, you’re type O? I’m type O too, so that means we’re a perfect match! Yay!"

"So, if we get married and have kids, they’d definitely be type O, huh?"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt the atmosphere shift there again.

This wasn’t good. I needed to switch the topic again.

"I... I’m a type O Libra. What about you, Hiyori-chan?" I asked hurriedly.

"Oh, I’m a type O Leo. Does that fit my image?"

"Yeah, totally. You seem very Leo-like."

"What do you mean, 'Leo-like'? Like, predatory? I heard lionesses are the ones who take the lead when hunting... Ah. …Wow, we sure know a lot about animals, huh?"

"Y-yeah. We should visit the zoo together sometime."

I smiled, relieved to have escaped the awkwardness. For now.

While appearing to carry on a normal conversation, I was doing my best to stay calm.

...No good. Even though we were making small talk, I couldn't push the thoughts of intimacy out of my head.

If she found out I was thinking about this kind of stuff all the time, she'd definitely be turned off. What should I do?

"Sorry, I’m just going to the restroom for a bit,"

Hiyori-chan said, giving me a brief moment to cool down. Left alone, I exhaled deeply. Calm down. Calm yourself.

Trying to distract myself, I turned on the TV and aimlessly flipped through the channels. Suddenly, the screen displayed a scene of a naked woman letting out moans as she was being intensely thrusted into from behind, and my heart nearly stopped.

Ah, I see. So you can watch adult videos in a love hotel... Wait, this is no time to be learning that. I need to turn it off before Hiyori-chan comes back. Panicking, I tried to turn off the power, but my hand slipped, and I dropped the remote onto the carpet.

There was a complete time lag. In a rush, I picked up the remote and pointed it at the TV to press the power button when—

"U-um, Hayato-kun… do you like women with breasts this big?"

A cute voice reached my ears, and my face turned pale. It seemed I was a step too late.

However, panicking or trying to cover it up in a strange way might have the opposite effect.

"Oh, sorry. I accidentally pressed the wrong button."

I turned off the TV, took a deep breath, and put back on my playboy mask.

"Uh, I’ve never really thought about size... If I had to say, I like the breasts of the girl I fall for,"

I said, trying to sound cool. But in this situation, that line basically meant, "Hiyori-chan, your breasts are the best, so I want to touch them like in this AV… actually, I want to do it with you."

I realized this only after seeing Hiyori-chan’s face rapidly turn red.

"Ah… no, I didn’t mean it in a weird way, okay? I—"

"…It’s fine. Let’s… let’s do it."

Hiyori-chan approached me as I sat on the bed.

"Uh… can you lie down? Then, face this way?"

She waited for me to follow her instructions and then lay down next to me.

As I started to feel overwhelmed by this unfamiliar sight, Hiyori-chan cautiously slid her left hand under my arm. And then—

"…You’re so warm..."

She hugged me tightly as we lay there together.

This is really dangerous. A healthy man shouldn't be able to not react.

I have to calm my heart, which feels like it's going to explode, but my hands were acting contrary to the commands from my brain, following instinct instead.

When I wrapped my arms around her back and hugged her in the same way, the closeness increased dramatically, and my excitement skyrocketed from the violent softness of her body. I couldn't help but wonder if Hiyori-chan is positively inclined toward such things, as my selfish assumptions raced through my mind.

This is bad. I really don’t think I can hold out any longer.

After being treated like this, it’s impossible not to act.

"...Is this okay?"

I asked in a desperate voice, and she quietly and slightly nodded.

As I raised my body, I didn’t even take the time to admire Hiyori-chan’s beautiful face, and was drawn to her soft lips, moving closer to them.

Just before I touched them, I stopped my movement and looked at her.

We didn’t exchange words. When her eyes closed, I took that as a sign of consent and pressed my lips against hers.

Our first kiss.

Nervousness. Excitement. Emotion. There were so many feelings, but I couldn't express them well, nor did I have the time to.

Right now, every cell in my body is desperately yearning for her.

I wonder, is this what it means when a switch is flipped? Touching a texture completely different from the parts of my own body feels more pleasant than I imagined.

Almost instinctively, my tongue entered her mouth.

It’s warm. I feel a definite sense of happiness at the reality of our bodies being physically zero distance apart.

"Mm..."

Was it a reaction from pure pleasure, or confusion from either my lack of skill or the kiss itself? I hope it’s the former as I carefully savor this first time touching a new place.

My mind is just hot, and I can no longer think about anything except Hiyori-chan.

When I pulled away from her lips and looked at her face, her large eyes were wet, her face flushed as she breathed shallowly.

How cute. My throat tightened from the overwhelming emotions.

There’s no word to describe it—only one comes to mind, with my limited vocabulary.

—I... I really like Hiyori-chan...

As if to convey my feelings, I gently kissed her neck. Her white skin flushed even more. I wondered if she was getting excited. As I saw her soft, fluffy hair scattered on the bed, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed, and I lightly touched her delicate ear, more visible than usual. My fingers slid down to her earring, and in that breathless, close distance, I expressed my feelings honestly.

"...So cute."

Hiyori-chan’s body jerked. This reaction can probably be interpreted as one of affection. Every time I speak my feelings into her ear, I can feel her breath become more erratic.

"Ah! ...Mm..."

I was so happy that she made a sound, and I tried to tease her ear more, but—

“...No... that’s enough... I want you to kiss me.”

When she asked with those moist eyes, I couldn’t help but respond. I tangled my tongue with hers, tasted her saliva, and after slowly pulling away from her lips, I spoke.

"...I love you."

I may not be technically skilled, but I swore to embrace her with all my heart, thinking only of her.

While kissing, I slid my hand under her clothes, touching her chest over her bra. The moment I did—

“...No... wait, stop...!”

She suddenly stopped, and though I was confused, I obediently waited for the next words, like a dog that had been denied. Hiyori-chan, breathing heavily, hid her face with her arms, speaking in a small voice.

"...I, I just remembered that I have something to do today...! I’m really sorry for inviting you, but... that..."

Finally, my head started to cool down.

The "something to do" was probably just a kind lie from Hiyori-chan’s gentle heart.

Even though we had been slowly closing the distance, maybe I startled her by being too eager all of a sudden.

Letting myself be carried away by the atmosphere of a love hotel and almost giving in to my lust—I'm really not worthy of being her boyfriend.

"...I understand. I'm sorry for pushing you."

I apologized and pulled away from Hiyori-chan. I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart and the intense heat in my lower body.

I realized just how violently alluring a girl's body can be.

I want to cherish her, yet at the same time, I want to ravage her. I never knew I could have such beast-like desires.

"...Hayato-kun, I'm sorry... Are you angry?"

"Huh? No, not at all! I'm the one who should be sorry. I may have gotten a little, no, a lot out of hand."

"I... I didn’t hate it, though? But, today... I'm really sorry."

Hiyori-chan, who was probably not a virgin, might not have the same fear of intimacy as a first-timer would, at least generally speaking.

If that’s the case, then the reason for her rejection lies with me. Hiyori-chan’s kindness, as she tries to be considerate of me, weighs heavily on my shoulders with guilt.

...Wait a second. Maybe I’m being tested?

Maybe Hiyori-chan wants to see if I’m the type of guy who can push forward or pull back when things get intense.

Based on my past experiences, the guy who can smartly pull back here would be the one who fits Hiyori-chan’s idea of a good man. Or maybe, she’s feeling uncertain, wondering if I’m just in this for her body, and wants to know if I really care about her.

In either case, there’s no way I’m going to sleep with her tonight. I’ll suppress the lust burning inside me and try to be the man she needs.

She’s a true master at toying with men’s emotions—leading them on like this, then pulling back when they reach out. Hiyori-chan certainly knows how to play the game.

"…From now on, Hiyori-chan, no saying 'I'm sorry.' I like your smile more than your apologetic face."

Without being too eager, I acted cool. Honestly, I really wanted to, but I pretended to be a calm boyfriend and gently took her hand.

"Okay, sorry... I mean, thank you for saying that. …It’s not really my place to say this right now, but we still have a lot of time ahead of us, so let’s do it again next time? H-Hey, if we do it here, it’ll play right into those two's plans, and that’s just frustrating!"

If things stayed awkward like this, I’d be a bad boyfriend to Hiyori-chan. If I’m being tested, then I thought it was my responsibility to resolve this awkwardness as quickly as possible.

"...Yeah, if things stay like this, it’d be kind of frustrating. Alright, then, how about we think of something to surprise them instead?"

"Yeah, I agree! ...But for now, just a little bit more... You know... Since we’ve come all this way... Could you hold me tightly one last time?"

"...Sure."

I’m really being tested... When I gently hugged Hiyori-chan, who was still lying down, our body heat and heartbeats mixed together, and it felt really nice.

"...I like it when you do this, Hayato-kun. It feels good."

...Girls are really hard to understand, saying 'touch me' or 'don’t touch me,' I just can’t figure out what they’re thinking.

Still, because I like her, I want to be by her side. Because I want to understand, I want to be together.

It seems like it’ll still be a while before I lose my virginity, but I feel like I’ve gained a little more understanding about love.

Our eyes met, and we kissed again. This time, it was more of a calm extension of communication rather than driven by lust.

As I reluctantly pulled away from the soft sensation, just as I was about to stop for the day, Hiyori-chan surprised me by intertwining her tongue. A jolting pleasure, like electricity, spread from my mouth throughout my body, and my reason was almost about to slip away.

Finally, Hiyori-chan pulled her lips away and smiled happily.

I understood very well that an experienced girl isn’t so easy to deal with.

Swallowing down the various emotions that were welling up inside me, I tried to suppress them. This might be some sort of divine punishment for me, someone who almost lost control due to lust.

As my desire once again began to rise, I desperately held it back with reason, determined to endure.

 

────35 days left until the first time we do it.────

 

[Nakamura Hiyori’s June 18^th]

 

We had been eating and chatting, so I had completely forgotten... but now, where we are is a love hotel, and the main purpose for the people who come here is to have sex.

When I think about it, the reason I realized this, even if just for a moment, was because I had witnessed Hayato-kun watching an adult video.

Even though I’ve been called a "slut," Hayato-kun never forces me into anything. I always feel like he cherishes me.

But in this situation, alone with a girl in a love hotel, not having sex must be... difficult for a boy, for Hayato-kun, right?

I’m Hayato-kun’s girlfriend. So it’s natural for us to have sex, I told myself, letting out a breath.

──Let’s brace myself. I’m going to have my first experience today.

"...Okay. Let’s... let’s do it."

So I said that, trying to act like an experienced girl, and threw myself onto Hayato-kun, who was lying on the bed. It was really embarrassing, feeling like I was pushing my chest against him, but his touch and scent, coming directly to me, felt comforting.

When Hayato-kun wrapped his arms around my back and hugged me back, my feelings for him overflowed. Even though I wanted to stay like this forever, I knew this wouldn’t end here, and I was acting with the intention to go further.

"…Is it okay?"

Although I am a virgin, I'm not foolish enough not to understand what is being asked here. I nodded slightly, and Hayato-kun's face slowly came closer.

I have no reason to refuse. Rather, I desire it.

When I closed my eyes, Hayato-kun's lips were placed on mine, and from the moment they touched, an indescribable feeling spread throughout my body.

In my life, this was my genuine first kiss.

There was no time to be moved by having my first kiss with the person I like, as Hayato-kun's tongue entered my mouth, and my body jerked in surprise.

I could strongly feel Hayato-kun's desire for me. I was a little surprised by his presence, something I had never felt before, but it wasn’t unpleasant.

I didn’t know how to move my tongue, so I just followed his movements, but my body grew hotter, my head started to feel dizzy, and I began to lose clarity.

But perhaps, instinctively, I understood the situation.

Right now, I find this act with him enjoyable.

Is it just because I have no experience that it feels good? No, Hayato-kun definitely feels experienced. Before I knew it, he was teasing my neck and ears, and in my favorite voice, he whispered over and over again, "So cute" and "I love you." Each time, my chest tightened, and I was overwhelmed with an irresistible feeling.

"Ah! …Mmm…"

I never imagined such a lewd sound would come from my mouth.

Startled by my embarrassment, I tried to cover my mouth instinctively, but Hayato-kun grabbed my hand and stopped me. He's usually kind, but right now, he's being a little mean. I thought that if he whispered sweet words in my ear like this, another strange sound might escape from me, so I said,

"…Enough, that's enough… I want you to kiss me."

Although I had the desire to run away, it was also my true feeling that I wanted the kiss. As Hayato-kun's tongue entered my mouth again, I was almost overwhelmed by the pleasure when he said,

"…I love you."

My heart and body, which had been melting, suddenly became flustered by Hayato-kun's words.

Even I could understand that. That was Hayato-kun's declaration that he was about to cross a line.

──He really is going to do it. As the countdown to my first experience began to feel more real, my heart started beating more fiercely than ever before.

Hayato-kun would surely embrace me with all his heart. But no matter how gentle he was, it was certain that he would find out that I was a virgin.

I was suddenly jolted by the sensation of his hand slipping under my clothes. The moment Hayato-kun's bony right hand touched my chest through my bra,

"…No… No, wait…!"

I had said heartless words, ignoring the current atmosphere and Hayato-kun's feelings.

What should I do? I'm scared. I'm afraid of Hayato-kun's reaction when he finds out that I'm a virgin.

Hayato-kun is kind, so he probably wouldn’t show any obvious disappointment, but I might disappoint him if he finds out that having sex with a virgin is troublesome.

Also, the stories my friends all said in unity about how "it really hurt" during their first experiences suddenly came to mind, adding to my fear.

"…I… I just remembered that I have something to do today…! I’m really sorry for suggesting this… but…"

I ended up making excuses like this, and in the end, it means that I still didn’t have enough resolve.

The reason I ended up apologizing while hiding my face with both arms was because I couldn’t look at Hayato-kun’s face due to my shame and the feeling of regret.

...What should I do? I told Hayato-kun a lie. Now that we’ve come this far, refusing sex must be a terrible thing for a boy, right?

What if he hates me? I’m starting to feel anxious and suffocated.

Maybe I should just say, 'Shall we?' now. But my mouth won’t move. What should I do──.

"...I understand. I’m sorry for making you do something you didn’t want to."

As if to ease my anxiety and tension, Hayato-kun said that without getting angry or disappointed, just looking apologetic.

No matter how I think about it, it’s me who should be apologizing.

And yet, Hayato-kun continued to treat me the same way as usual, and he even made an effort to reduce the awkwardness that inevitably arose.

Why is he so kind? Hayato-kun’s words and actions were completely different from what I had imagined.

Having listened to things like Saki’s and my friends' stories, I had been fed biased knowledge, so I thought that boys basically only thought about sex in their heads.

But I guess boys like Hayato-kun, who are popular, have the confidence to handle things differently. After kissing me alone in a love hotel, he didn’t seem disappointed when I told him that we couldn’t go any further, and there wasn’t even a hint of him forcing himself on me.

Hayato-kun, who is experienced and doesn’t make girls uncomfortable, probably has a thought process that is completely beyond the reach of boys like those or virgin girls like me.

"...Yeah, it would be a bit disappointing if it ended like this. Alright, let’s think of something to surprise those guys instead?"

I can feel Hayato-kun’s kindness as he tries to change the awkward atmosphere. He is always much more mature than me, by comparison.

For me to be by Hayato-kun’s side as his girlfriend, I guess I’d have to be an experienced woman, or else it wouldn’t match up.

'Yeah, I agree! ...But for now, just a little more... Since we’ve come this far... could you hug me tightly, just one last time?'

I wonder if I couldn’t bear the anxiety creeping in. Before I knew it, I had blurted out that selfish request.

While being held by Hayato-kun, who accepted it with a prompt response, I wrapped my arms around his back, as if to engrave his warmth and scent into my body, the comfort I had been seeking.

I love hugging. I could stay like this forever. Both physically and emotionally, I don’t want Hayato-kun to pull away.

I want to be close, to feel safe, and just like Hayato-kun did to me earlier, I try to move my tongue in, on my own.

It seems like Hayato-kun is a little surprised, but I wonder if I’m doing it right? I don’t want it to be only pleasurable for me. I want Hayato-kun to feel it too.

While moving diligently, I thought, maybe this kind of feeling is the most important for the two of us to have sex, and with my virgin mind, I tried to think it through in my melting head.