listen, actually, It's My First Time. 87 Days Until My First Time With a Loose-Ish, Innocent Girlfriend V1 - Ch 4

 Chapter 4: Two Types of Jealousy

[Kabaraki Shun's June 10th]

The habit of walking home together had seamlessly integrated into daily life by June.

Tokyo had entered the rainy season, and the amount of rainfall had increased, creating a somewhat lazy atmosphere even in the classroom. Despite this, I was in a good mood and spent my days happily.

"Well then, please take care of it today."

"Yeah. Here you go."

Hiyori-chan always brings an umbrella, but when she walks home with me, she insists on sharing it. I enjoyed this time when we walked slowly, our shoulders close together, chatting. It was something I looked forward to immensely.

No matter how wet our hems or shoulders got, or how crowded the train was, I couldn't bring myself to dislike this rainy season. In fact, I might even like it.

"How was your midterm, Shun-kun?"

It was an unexpected question that seemed unrelated to the rain. But recently, midterms and parent-teacher meetings had taken place at Harukaoka High. Judging from Hiyori-chan's gloomy expression, she must have been scolded by the teacher.

"I did a bit worse than last year, but I was still above average, so I'm just staying optimistic about it."

"As for me, my rank dropped a lot. The teacher scolded me, and what’s worse, my mom has been nagging me a lot. Have you been studying recently, Shun-kun?"

"I don't really study actively, I just do homework. I feel like I should try harder, though. By the way, we've never studied together before, right? How about we do that at my place next time?"

Hiyori-chan let out a surprised sound, "Eh?"

"…I think I wouldn't be able to concentrate on studying in that case…"

It was at this point that I realized the meaning of my own words. "Let's have a study session at my place" essentially meant being alone in a room together.

…Wait a second... am I being indirectly invited by Hiyori-chan with something like "I can't concentrate on studying, but we can have fun"?!

…Well, that's probably not it. Maybe this behavior is just her testing how I would react to a little devilish line like that.

"R-right. I wouldn’t be confident I could concentrate either, so how about we go to the library instead? My local library has a pretty spacious and clean self-study room that's easy to use."

Agreeing with her, I figured that a true player who isn't bothered by girls would suggest studying outside like this.

"Y-yeah! That sounds good, let’s do that! …Since we’ve entered our second year, everyone’s suddenly starting to study more. I wonder if next year, the classroom atmosphere will feel even more tense… If it’s like this at Haruka High, then how much more competitive will it be at schools like Minami High or Sakurajo Girls, with students who have even higher aspirations?"

Toumin High and schools related with Sakura-zaka University, like Sakurajo Girls’ School, are the top schools in the area, known for their high academic standards. They’re schools I could never get into even if I tried.

"My childhood friend got into Sakura Girls, and seriously, the level is so high, it’s kind of intimidating. The speed of lessons is obviously incomparable to Haruka High, but the students’ mindset toward studying—like their habits—is completely different…"

The light turned red, and I stopped. Glancing over at a fast-food restaurant along the street, I saw a girl in a Sakurajo sailor uniform taking shelter from the rain under the eaves.

By chance, the small girl with black bobbed hair was my childhood friend, Shino.

"Shino!"

Shino turned toward me and showed a gentle smile, but her expression seemed to stiffen slightly. After asking Hiyori-chan for permission with a "Just a sec?" I walked over to Shino with her.

"It's rare to run into you here. Are you skipping your cram school today?"

"Yeah, I have the day off… Um, Shun-chan, who is this?"

Shino’s gaze was directed not at me, but at Hiyori-chan.

It felt a bit embarrassing to introduce her to a younger girl I had known since childhood, but there was no reason to hide it, and I also felt a little excited to show off my incredibly cute girlfriend.

"This is Hiyori Nakamura. We go to the same school… and she's my girlfriend."

"Hello, I’m Hiyori Nakamura."

Hiyori-chan greeted her in a cheerful tone, and for a moment, Shino's eyes widened.

"This is Hiyori-chan, and this girl is Shino Fukatsu. She's a year below me, and although we go to different high schools now, we've known each other since kindergarten through middle school. Remember I mentioned Sakura Girls earlier?"

Shino gave Hiyori-chan a warm smile.

"Hello, I’m Shino Fukatsu. I've known Shun-chan for a long time, but this is the first time I’ve been introduced to his girlfriend, so I’m surprised. Nakamura-san, you're really beautiful. You're almost too good for Shun-chan."

When we were young, Shino was a crybaby and a spoiled child, but after entering middle school, she became more dependable. Her strong sense of responsibility eventually led her to become the student council president. She greeted the older girl calmly without showing any hesitation, despite being a first-time meeting.

"A year younger!? Amazing, you’re so mature…!"

"I used to cry a lot more when we were kids. But after I started helping Shun-chan, who tends to be a bit scatterbrained, I guess I started being seen as the responsible one."

I lightly tapped Shino on the head for teasing me.

"Hey, Shino, no badmouthing me in front of my girlfriend."

"But it’s the truth. I can’t lie. It’s just the way I am."

"That’s already a lie! Remember that time we had a barbecue at my house? Mom asked me, ‘Did you eat the onions?’ and I nodded, but then you took all of them off my plate!"

Having known each other since childhood, our families had many interactions. While we were recalling about a barbecue we had last month, Hiyori-chan grabbed my uniform tightly.

"You two get along so well! I wish I had a childhood friend like that. I don’t have one, so I’m kind of jealous."

"Yeah... I guess having a childhood friend of the opposite sex at this age is pretty rare."

Hiyori-chan and Shino smiled at each other, but there was an awkward atmosphere between them, or at least I thought so. Maybe it was just my imagination.

Shino looked at me and let out a small sigh.

"Shun-chan, don’t you think we should go soon? If your boyfriend talks to other girls for too long when he’s with you, you’ll end up disliking him, right?"

"Right. Well, let’s go then. But, Shino, don’t you need an umbrella? Want to borrow mine?"

"No, I have an umbrella. My mom’s going to pick me up by car, and we’re going shopping on the way."

Of course, the responsible and well-prepared Shino wouldn't forget her umbrella.

"Got it. See you later, Shino."

"See you, Shino-chan."

"Yes. See you again, Nakamura-san."

After waving goodbye to Shino, we continued walking under the same umbrella.

The rain, which had gotten stronger than before, made my umbrella’s coverage feel insufficient. Although I tried my best to shield Hiyori from the rain, I couldn’t help but feel guilty seeing her uniform and shoes completely soaked.

"Shino-chan is such a responsible person. She’s from Sakura Girl, so she must be really smart too."

"Yeah, she’s cute, smart, and I’m really proud of her as my childhood friend."

"She’s lucky to know what you were like when you were little..."

"Really? My childhood was kind of boring, and probably not interesting at all—"

Suddenly, Hiyori intertwined her hand with my left arm and pressed her body against mine under the umbrella.

Even though I was nervous and my heart was racing from the sudden arm-linking, I tried hard to hold back a smile, biting my cheek to keep my expression in check.

The weight, warmth, and softness of her body against my left arm made my heart pound louder. This is bad. She’s going to hear it.

"...The rain’s getting stronger, huh... Is it okay if we get even closer?"

"Y... yeah, it’s fine."

My left side, where we were touching more than usual, grew warm.

With the sound of our hearts and the rain around us, it felt like there was no one in the world except for the two of us.

"Hey, how many confessions have you gotten so far?"

"Huh? What’s with the sudden question?"

"It’s fine. I was just curious."

I wasn’t sure whether I should answer honestly or avoid the question. I had no experience in dating girls, so I wasn’t sure what the right answer was. I often heard from people like Masaki and Hisato that they’d made their girlfriends furious by talking about their exes in front of them.

"Well... I think about thirty serious confessions."

I decided it would be more sincere to be honest than to try to sugarcoat things. While I kept some things vague out of respect for the girls' privacy, I still remembered the faces and names of the girls who confessed to me.

Even though I couldn’t return their feelings, I wanted to show at least that much sincerity.

"Wow, that's a lot... I guess... it’s nice that my boyfriend is popular..."

When I see Hiyori getting attention from others, I sometimes feel anxious. But Hiyori, who must have been through many relationships, seemed to have no trouble with the fact that I’d been confessed to by several girls.

She really is experienced. I want to learn to think like her. But, despite her words, her smile seemed a little awkward, which was probably just me interpreting it that way to fit my own desires.

"Is that so? But right now, I’m all about you, Hiyori-chan. I don’t want you to feel uneasy."

Even though Hiyori-chan seemed like she wasn’t bothered by it, as her boyfriend, I felt it was my duty to make sure she felt secure.

"...Thank you, Hayato-kun. That really makes me happy to hear. You're right, though... I’m your girlfriend, aren’t I?"

Hiyori-chan tightened her grip on my arm just a little.

"...It might be hard to walk, but can we go home together like this today? ...Because I’m your... girlfriend, after all."

For someone like me with curly hair, the rainy season was the worst time of the year since my hair would become a mess. But starting this year, it's become my favorite season.

"If you want, you can get even closer. I'd be happy with that too."

I love holding hands, but having my arm linked with hers is the best.

The weather forecast said it would rain tomorrow too. I’m already looking forward to it and can’t wait.

────43 days left until the first time we do it.────

☆

That night, Shino came to my house.

"The rain's still falling outside. I hate this weather because it gives me headaches."

When Shino came to my room, she sat on the bed, her usual spot. As usual, she sat down and took the glass of barley tea I handed her, saying "Thanks."

"Are you okay? By the way, why are you here today? Did you come alone?"

"Yeah. Well...," she began, pulling out her study materials from her bag.

"Today, I thought maybe you could help me study."

"Huh? I can't teach you anything. I'm sure you know more than me," I said.

Shino, my childhood friend who's attending the top school in the area, was always busy with schoolwork and cram school. Since our families have connections, we often see each other for meals or when she brings over food, so we're pretty familiar with one another. 

But this was the first time she'd ever asked me to help her with studying since she became a high school student. I was doubtful if I could really be of any help, but the pride of being an older friend and the pressure of being relied on made me straighten my back.

I quickly cleared off the low table and made space for her study materials.

"I think I'm bad at the sine law," she said.

Math, of all things... My worst subject. But I had no choice but to give it a try.

"Well, let's get started. Try going through the problem set you brought with you first."

The time as my "private tutor" (sort of) began.

While Shino sat next to me solving problems, I quickly studied the textbook and explanations, trying to prepare myself so I could answer any questions she might ask. 

I thought the sine law was something we learned in the second semester of our first year in high school, but I guess Sakura girls progress faster than I expected.

"Hey, how do you solve this one?"

"Umm, this is..." I relayed the explanation almost exactly from the textbook, and Shino nodded.

"Got it. I'll give it a try."

As a few more of these exchanges took place, a doubt surfaced in my mind.

Isn't it strange that Shino can solve the problems so smoothly with my explanation, which isn't even that detailed? Maybe she doesn't actually have any problems understanding the material from the start?

If that's the case, why would she ask me to help her with studying in the first place?

Unlike me, who was confused by the situation, Shino was solving the problems without hesitation, her mechanical pencil gliding across the paper. I didn't voice my questions, though, since her expression seemed serious and focused on the task at hand.

I watched Shino as she looked down at the problem set.

Her black hair, unlike mine, was straight and shiny, looking incredibly beautiful.

"Shino, don't you think you should cut your bangs?"

I lifted the bangs that were almost in her eyes with my index finger, and was met with her cat-like gaze.

"It's fine. I'm growing them out."

"Doesn't it get in the way? Your vision could get worse too."

"I'm trying to look more grown-up."

After her blunt response, the room was once again filled only with the sound of the mechanical pencil scratching across the paper.

Since we're at it, maybe I should study a bit too. Shino's preparation for studying doesn't require me to work too hard; a simple explanation is enough for her to understand. I pulled out the school assignment I hadn't started yet from my bag and began working on it.

Normally, I'd reach for my phone about ten minutes in, but today I found myself unusually focused. Come to think of it, this was how it was back in middle school too. 

When studying with Shino, for some reason, my brain felt like it was firing on all cylinders, and I had the illusion of becoming smarter, which made my own studying progress more smoothly.

Lost in nostalgia, I continued with my assignment in silence. How much time had passed? Before I realized it, Shino's mechanical pencil had stopped moving.

"...After we parted, you and Nakakura-san were walking under the same umbrella, getting all cozy, huh?"

I was completely caught off guard by Shino's statement.

"D-did you see that?"

"Well, I can understand Nakakura-san's feelings after meeting me, and I don't really want to say things like this, but... maybe you should be a little more mindful of how things look? Some people might find it uncomfortable."

"...I see, you're right..."

"...Ah. S-sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, Shun-chan. ...Hey, Shun-chan, how did you start dating Nakakura-san?"

"How? Well, I confessed to her, and she said yes."

"She's so pretty and cute, and a nice person... she's really different from me, huh?"

As Shino spoke, a somewhat sad smile appeared on her face, and I tilted my head in confusion.

"Shino might be different, but you're cute too, you know? There's no need to compare."

I patted her head and told her exactly what I was thinking. Maybe I embarrassed her by treating her like a child, because Shino turned red and looked away from me.

"...S-So, Shun-chan... is there anything you're struggling with in your relationship with Nakakura-san? As your childhood friend... I can listen if you want."

"Eh? Hmm, well..."

I was caught off guard by the sudden question, but it was a kind offer. There were things I wanted to talk about that I couldn't tell the girls at school who thought I was a playboy or my senpai, Chiharu.

"...I’m not sure how much distance I should keep with her..."

I have a tendency to put on a mask and try to look cool, even in front of Hiyori-chan. I want to come across as a composed and confident guy, but I find myself unsure about how much physical contact is appropriate or where to draw the line. I'm afraid of making her uncomfortable or overstepping.

"I can't say this is true for everyone, but... I think a lot of girls would want to see clear affection from the person they like," Shino said, breaking my thoughts. "Like, being close, having physical contact... I'm pretty sure a lot of girls are happy with that."

"Is that so? So, you're saying you think that too?"

"Yeah... For example, if you asked me for a lap pillow, I'd do it without hesitation, and I’d think it was cute."

"...Huh? By that logic, that would make me someone you like, wouldn't it?"

"Well, liking someone doesn't necessarily mean they're a romantic interest. It's like how most people don't mind it when a cat snuggles up to them... though that’s a bit of a biased comparison."

So, I'm treated like a cat now? It was almost funny that I'm not even considered a romantic interest, but rather, not even treated as a person. I let out a small chuckle as I realized this.

As I was thinking about it, Shino, sitting upright, lightly tapped her thigh and looked at me seriously.

"So, here’s the deal."

"What do you mean?"

"If you're not used to it, let’s practice closing the distance. I'll give you a lap pillow. Come here."

I’ve never had the experience of a girl, let alone Shino, giving me a lap pillow, so I was incredibly nervous and hesitant. But when I glanced at her face, she seemed completely serious, which only made me more unsure.

"...If it gets uncomfortable, just let me know."

Somehow, is there something different about Shino's behavior? With a slight suspicion in my mind, I quietly placed my head on her lap, trying not to look at her. I was amazed by the elasticity of her slender legs, something I hadn’t imagined, and I almost let out a voice, but I desperately suppressed it.

"How is it?"

"...I think it’s really nice."

"I see. You can be spoiled today, you know."

For some reason, we both started speaking in polite language. I could feel my heart naturally being healed by the soft firmness I felt on my cheek. 

So this is the power of a lap pillow... Even though I would usually feel embarrassed if Shino patted my head, now it felt so comfortable that I just let it happen.

"Well then, could you turn toward me?"

"Huh? ...U-um...?"

It was manageable because Shino was in a position where I couldn’t see her, but isn't the other side too close? I thought it might be too much... Is it really okay?

"...Y-yes. Understood."

If it ever comes to the point where Hiyori-chan gives me a lap pillow, I need to act like I’m used to it. The pretext of not wanting to miss a rare opportunity, and the true reason that the lap pillow felt better than I imagined. I made sure to keep my calm so that the latter reason wouldn’t be discovered and turned toward Shino.

As expected, it was even closer than I thought. Unable to endure it, I closed my eyes, and once again, Shino’s hand began to pat my head.

"Can I ask you something? ...This, you haven’t done this with Nakamura-san, right?"

While I was relaxing from the pleasure of having my hair stroked, Shino quietly spoke to me.

"Yeah. Being given a lap pillow by a girl and having my head patted, Shino is the first in my life."

"...I see. So, I’m the first..."

For some reason, Shino’s voice sounded happy.

"Well, how was it? Being spoiled by a girl?"

"Yeah... it might be really good. It’s relaxing, and I feel at ease. Maybe it’s because it’s you, Shino, though."

"Shun-chan, that... might be a really happy thing for me to hear..."

It might be because she’s someone like Shino, with whom I can relax, that it had such a calming effect. If it were Hiyori-chan, I’d probably be more nervous and wouldn’t have the freedom to talk like this.

"...But still, it feels wrong to only rely on Shino like this."

"...Thanks, Shino. I'm always being helped by you. ...I need to be more reliable in front of Hiyori-chan. An untrustworthy boyfriend really is uncool."

After expressing my gratitude, a few seconds passed.

I felt breath on my ear and instinctively let out a sound.

"Y-You surprised me! What are you doing, Shino?!"

As I sat up to protest, Shino averted her eyes and muttered.

"...Don't talk about Nakamura-san right now."

I tilted my head, not understanding why Shino's mad, which had seemed cheerful until just now, suddenly turned sour. Shino glared lightly at me, as if to say, "Figure it out."

"...If you suddenly introduce me like that, it's awkward."

"...Oh, about today? Sorry. But I think you were able to greet her properly, right?"

"I had to think so hard in that short time, it was exhausting. If I had said something like 'Thank you for always taking care of Hayato-chan,' it would’ve made me sound like I was trying to take the upper hand, and I’d come off as an unpleasant woman. If I said something too neutral, it would seem cold, and I was worried you'd think I didn't like her. It’s really the hardest thing to navigate."

I had been thinking about things like the pride of being older and acting all high and mighty, but it seems like none of that mattered. I regretted realizing just how much care she had put into it.

"I'm really sorry. I always end up causing trouble for you, and it's so uncool of me. But I've never forgotten how thankful I am, and I’ve always thought of you as an important person, like a little sister."

I put my hands together and sincerely apologized. Shino let out a small sigh.

"...I don't think you're a bother, and I don't think you're uncool. Actually, you weren't this polished and handsome before you graduated middle school... I don't know how things ended up like this."

I could only smile wryly at the slightly sharp words.

"So, you're saying it's strange that a guy like me, who was originally a nerdy guy with curly hair and glasses, has such a cute girlfriend?"

"No, you were always popular, even though you were plain. You were kind to everyone without discrimination and sincere. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have a girlfriend just because your looks improved. That's why... it’s made me, well, more unnecessary stress."

Even though it was a remark expecting a response, I was taken aback by Shino's unexpected evaluation, blinking in surprise.

"...Hayato-chan, you like Nakamura-san, right?"

She looked at me with earnest eyes. I could immediately answer without hesitation to that question.

"I do."

"...I see, understood. Well then, shall we get back to studying?"

Shino, who had returned her gaze to the notebook and started moving her mechanical pencil again, had an aura that clearly conveyed no more casual conversation was allowed.

I decided to get back to my own work. Straightening up like Shino, I read the problem...

"...Hey, Shino."

"What?"

"...Do you understand this?"

Now that it was clear I had zero sense of seniority, there was nothing embarrassing about asking.

"...Hayato-chan, you're an idiot. I’m more of an idiot for asking in the first place."

The latter part was muttered softly, but it was probably teasing me for not understanding such an easy question. Looking at Shino with a wry smile, I noticed her puffed-up cheeks, and for some reason, her expression seemed close to jealousy, so I tilted my head again.