V. The Morning Star at Dawn
“—I like you.”
Those words shot straight through the center of my chest.
My heart raced with joy. But more than that, it hurt so much that tears came.
“I don’t like Towa.”
I crushed my emotions and gave that reply. Those words weren’t meant for you. All I could do was tell myself over and over that I don’t like Towa.
Before I knew it, the cicadas’ song marked the season. A week into summer break, I left my room with a star-patterned backpack. By chance, I ran into Kaho, who also had a large bag slung over her shoulder.
“Hey, where’d that camera come from?”
Kaho had a compact digital camera hanging around her neck.
“I bought it myself about two years ago. I figured since we’re here, I’d like to take lots of pictures.”
“I see. Take lots of me too!”
“Hehe, yeah. That’s the plan.”
We put on comfy sneakers and stepped outside, where the boys were already fully prepared.
“Hey!”
Shoji-kun carried a backpack way bigger than mine. When I asked if it wasn’t heavy, he said he’s used to carrying teammates on his back during club practice laps, so it’s no big deal.
“Morning.”
Greeted by Towa, I replied clumsily, “Uh, yeah. Morning.” Since then, he’s been acting normal toward me. It should be way more awkward for him, but he’s probably being considerate so I don’t feel uncomfortable. I haven’t told anyone about Towa confessing to me. Saying it out loud would make it “real,” I think. Just having that thought means part of me wants to pretend I never heard it. …I’m so awful, even I’m appalled.
After walking to the station, we all boarded the train. The air-conditioned car gradually dried the slight sweat on my forehead.
We were headed to a campsite in the next prefecture for some stargazing we’d planned a while back. It’s the same place I visited with Towa’s family when I was five. The train ride was an hour with no transfers, followed by a free shuttle bus, and we arrived at the campsite at ten as scheduled.
“Wow, it’s huge!”
I let out an excited shout. A flat grassy space stretched out, surrounded by dense forest, the air crisp and clear. This campsite is reservation-only, split into cottages, auto-camping zones, and a free area where we could pitch tents anywhere. We’d use the free space, but it’s not like we had to bring everything ourselves—there’s a center house with a shop, coin laundry, and showers. Nearby, others had already set up tents and were enjoying their camping.
“Whoa, those sausages smell good!”
Shoji-kun drifted toward the scent, only for Kaho to calmly reel him back, saying, “You’re not a dog.”
“I’ll go check in at the office.”
Unlike us, buzzing with excitement, Towa kept his usual cool.
“You okay alone? Know where it is?”
“Yeah. I memorized the area map last night. You guys pick a spot for the tent.”
With that, Towa walked off. Memorizing the map—typical of him. He’s always been like that. He doesn’t seem excited, but he prepares more thoroughly than anyone.
“Tsuzumi-kun’s vibe’s kinda changed, huh?”
Kaho said this beside me as we watched his back.
“…Has it?”
“Yeah. Hard to put into words, but he used to feel more… fragile, I guess.”
True, Towa’s started showing a sharper, more rugged look sometimes. Maybe it’s turning sixteen, or talking to his dad on the phone, but he seems lighter, clearer.
…That moment. When Towa confessed. He looked at me so directly it almost hurt. I knew he wasn’t a kid anymore, but seeing that boyish face—so new to me—kept me up that night. It still won’t leave my head.
“Ta-da!”
A solid tent stood on the grass. Turns out Shoji-kun, a camping veteran, had brought everything we needed.
“Amazing! It went up so fast!”
“It’s the latest one-touch model, after all!”
Watching a proud Shoji-kun with a smile, Kaho snapped photos of the tent. We decided to check it out. I’d imagined a four-person tent would be cramped, but it was surprisingly spacious. Tall enough, too, and with all four sides made of mesh, the breeze flowed through perfectly.
“We could nap in here, but I brought sleeping bags, so how about the girls take the tent and us guys use the bags outside? Right, Tsuzumin?”
“Yeah. I can sleep anywhere.”
Since stargazing is the main event, we planned to stay overnight. After dropping off our stuff, we prepped lunch. We’d ordered a hands-free barbecue course with the reservation, so we moved to the cooking area. I worried we’d need to bring something, but they had everything—ingredients, drinks, seasonings, even dishes. The staff brought pre-lit charcoal, so we didn’t have to struggle with the fire and could start grilling meat and veggies right away.
Stuffed, we headed to the open area to play. Shoji-kun pulled out something else.
“First up, Tsuzumin!”
With that shout, water splashed toward Towa. At some point, Shoji-kun had strapped on a backpack-style water gun.
“S-Stop it!”
“Take that, take that, take that!”
“Too much, you idiot! My clothes are soaked!”
Seeing Towa goof off for once made me giggle. If I didn’t have Grim Reaper Syndrome, would that confession have changed things between us? If I could tell someone I like that I like them, what would I have said back then?
Thinking about it’s pointless, but my heart keeps smoldering.
“Next, Kaho-chan!”
The water gun had two tanks—once filled, it lasted a while. Now the stream shot toward Kaho.
“No way, ugh! Ease up a little!”
“Woo!”
“Someone take that thing from Shoji-kun! He’s the absolute worst person to have it!”
“This weapon’s mine!”
Shoji-kun was heating up fast. Watching everyone, our eyes met. Too late to dodge—before I could escape, I became the water gun’s next target.
“Now it’s Runa-chan!”
“Whoa, stop it! Geez—pfft, haha!”
The water stung with force but felt cool and nice. No point dwelling on what’s done. I’ll keep smiling brightly—I’ve lived that way since realizing my illness.
Soaked from not dodging, a towel suddenly draped over my head.
“Shoji! Stop aiming high! Hit the legs if you’re gonna splash!”
The sun blocked out, and there was Towa, back turned, like he was shielding me from Shoji-kun. …Why’d he say not to aim high? I checked my wet clothes.
“…!”
My T-shirt was see-through, revealing my underwear. Worse, I’d worn a colored one today—bright pink, totally visible. Mortified, I hid my chest with Towa’s towel.
“Take your time changing.”
Without turning, Towa spoke gently over his shoulder. …He really feels like he’s grown up all of a sudden. Clutching the towel tight, I caught his scent.
Nighttime. We spread a leisure sheet in front of the tent. No streetlights or city glow—the campsite was quiet and pitch-black.
“Hey, Tsuzumi-kun. I want to see the constellation chart. Can’t I use my phone’s light?”
“No. Not now. Light in your eyes makes the stars harder to see.”
Towa explained it’s called dark adaptation—getting your eyes used to the dark before stargazing lets you spot even tiny stars clearly with the naked eye.
“If you want the chart, use this.”
He pulled a flashlight with red film from his backpack.
“Red light’s okay?”
“Yeah. They say red doesn’t mess with eyes adjusted to the dark.”
“Huh, neat. Oh, camera flash is bad for star pics, right?”
“But yours is a digital camera, Sasano. Night mode might work without flash. I’m not a camera expert, though.”
Listening to Towa and Kaho, I lay back, gazing at the night sky. Soon, stars started popping out.
Like he said, I could see faint ones I usually miss. Back then, Towa told me stars don’t just shine—they burn. Something about nuclear fusion with hydrogen gas. I was a dreamy kid, hoping he’d say a star prince lights them with magic. But I secretly loved hearing his unromantic, philosophical explanations.
“Wow, incredible! First time seeing a sky this full of stars!”
“Yeah. Beautiful…”
Shoji-kun and Kaho looked up too. First thing I noticed was the Milky Way flowing across the sky. That resentful galaxy was, as always, breathtakingly gorgeous.
“That bluish-white glow is Vega in Lyra. Below it, Altair in Aquila. Connect them with Deneb in Cygnus, and you get the Summer Triangle.”
Towa pointed a laser at the sky, explaining clearly.
“Down the Milky Way, there’s Sagittarius. Next to it, Scorpio. Past Antares, you’ve got Libra.”
“Hey, Tsuzumin, what’s that H-shaped one?”
“Oh, that’s Hercules. Hercules was a kid born from an affair, and his dad’s wife cursed him, leading to his death.”
“What? Why curse the kid? The cheating adult’s the bad one!”
“Well, yeah. Anyway, his father, Zeus, mourned him and made him a constellation, but the wife got mad again and flipped him upside down in the sky.”
Even simplifying tricky parts, Towa’s Greek mythology tales were easy to follow. Maybe that’s why Shoji-kun, usually uninterested, got hooked, saying, “I’m finding Hercules first from now on!”
The starry sky we shared felt like our own planetarium. Towa pointed out constellations, telling their stories. And we, looking up, surely had our own story too.
If I disappeared, who’d tell mine? I think I asked Towa that here when I was five.
“Huh? Who’d tell your story after you’re gone?”
“Yeah.”
Pretty sure we were lying here, staring at the sky back then too.
“You can pick whoever you want, Runa.”
“What do you mean?”
“You tell the person you want to remember your story what you want them to keep.”
“So if I tell you, you’ll remember it forever?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
By then, he already knew he’d leave this town. That’s why his family came here to make memories. I don’t like that phrase, though—memory-making. I don’t need to “make” them. I’ll never forget Towa, and my chest is already full of precious moments with him.
“I’ve always thought it’d be nice if there was a Towa star.”
“Why?”
“So I wouldn’t feel lonely even after you moved.”
If there were a “Towa star” I could see at night, I’d stare at the sky for hours every day.
“My star, huh? Then it’d be cool if it was near the moon.”
“Why?”
“Because Runa—”
His voice cut off mid-sentence. Our moms caught us sneaking out to see the stars. We got dragged back to sleep, and I never heard the rest.
After stargazing, we reviewed Greek myths in the tent. Before I knew it, Shoji-kun and Kaho were asleep. I dozed off too, but woke to find Towa gone. Outside, he was lying on the leisure sheet, staring at the stars again.
“Oh, you’re up?”
Towa noticed me.
“Yeah. You’re not sleeping?”
“I figured I’d watch the sky all night here.”
Maybe he’d planned to stay up from the start. Towa, no longer pushing stars away, seemed stronger, a refreshing clarity peeking through. Staring vaguely at his back, a big bug zipped across my vision.
“Eek…!”
I flailed both hands in panic. I’d used bug spray and patches, but it flew at me mercilessly.
“I’ve got repellent incense over here.”
At that, I moved next to him. The incense had a lavender scent—maybe an aromatherapy kind. The bug was gone, but I’d ended up closer to Towa.
“Sorry for saying that out of nowhere before. It’s awkward for us, right?”
Towa furrowed his brow with a wry smile. True, I don’t know how to act around him anymore. But he shouldn’t have to apologize—I shook my head.
“I can’t explain it, but I just felt I had to say it then.”
“…”
“Not that I was joking—it was—”
“I know.”
It was his real feelings aimed at me. I should’ve responded honestly, but I was too shaken then.
“It’s not about you, Towa. I’ve decided not to like anyone.”
“…Why?”
I couldn’t say it’s because I have a disease that takes the lives of those I love.
“You don’t need someone you like to live, right? I don’t want to rank anyone—I just want to enjoy time with everyone.”
Not a lie. But I know it only holds now. Once school ends, adulthood hits, and things change, “friends are enough” won’t last. Seeing everyone marry, have kids, build families with someone they love—I wouldn’t handle it.
“I’m fine if you’re smiling, but make at least one person you can cry to when it’s tough.”
Dumping him yet getting comforted by him—I’m pathetic. His kindness stung deep.
The starry sky still sparkled, like gems set in tiny holes. Stars shine to be seen, I bet. But no matter how I reach, I can’t touch them. I can’t touch Towa either.
“The moon’s clear tonight.”
Towa said quietly. Moonlight poured over us like a pure white curtain.
“You called me a moon goddess way back, right? Why?”
“Hm? ‘Cause moon in Latin is Luna.”
“Oh, yeah. So… when you said you were Orion before moving?”
I’d snapped at him for clinging to the past too much, but I’m the one treasuring every word he gave me.
“Oh, Orion’s Japanese name is Tsuzumi-boshi —drum star.”
“Huh, really?”
…First I’d heard. The moon goddess Artemis accidentally killed Orion with an arrow. Maybe a coincidence, but it felt like us.
Hey, Towa. I wanted to stay that innocent kid, laughing if our hands brushed, holding them to feel each other’s warmth—that’s the me I wanted.
If only you were a lamer boy. If you’d disappointed me, been a total letdown, I could’ve sighed and moved on.
Then I could’ve truly seen you as a friend. Just a boarder, a classmate, one of the group—I could’ve boxed you in there.
“—Ah!”
Towa sat up, pointing east. Dawn was breaking, Orion glowing in the gradient sky. A summer gift no one else knew, a treasure just for us—so beautiful.
“I like summer Orion more than winter.”
Towa grinned innocently. Telling myself not to care, I stared more at his profile than Orion. The constellation rose from the east, fading into the whitening sky. The stars vanished, yet something still shone in my eyes.
“Ah… ah…”
While the world greeted morning, I fell back into darkness. I forgot how to breathe.
Glittering dust sucked into the eastern clouds. So beautiful it brought tears, so cruel it brought tears.
“Runa? What’s wrong?”
I swore I’d never let it happen again…
The cursed galaxy, triggered by my “like,” was rising from Towa’s body.
＊＊＊＊
“…Hot.”
Stepping onto my room’s balcony, I squinted at the blazing sun. Mid-August, temps over thirty were normal, and today’s news announced a heat warning. After hanging laundry early and sliding the screen shut, I heard water outside. Drawn by its freshness, I stepped into the hall. Slipping on sandals and opening the door, I saw Yoko-san in a sunhat by the flowerbed.
“What’re you doing?”
“Oh, Towa-kun. Just weeding. Leave it even a bit, and it shoots up, see?”
“Then I’ll help.”
“Really? It’s hot, though.”
“I’m fine.”
Crouching, the ground’s heat hit hard. Sweat seeped from my air-conditioned body.
“No need to go home for Obon, Towa-kun?”
“Yeah. Dad’s overseas again, and Mom said she’s traveling with friends.”
“Hehe, both so youthful and lively.”
Smiling at Yoko-san, a sweet scent rode the breeze. I’d smelled it before. Following it, I saw the sliding door to her house open. Beyond it was the tatami room with the Buddhist altar, I think.
“I killed him. My dad.”
The incense smell inevitably dragged those words back.
“Uh, your husband, he…”
I faltered, unsure how to ask politely. Yoko-san picked up my intent and spoke.
“My husband passed when Runa was in first grade. He didn’t want a fuss, so I didn’t tell Kanae-san either. Surprised you, sorry.”
“N-No. Was it… illness?”
“Yeah. Stomach cancer. He acted tough, but it was serious. I braced myself, but Runa couldn’t accept her dad’s death easily.”
Even I, after ten years apart, feel this shock—Runa’s grief must’ve been immense.
“Sounds weird, but how does Runa seem to you, Towa-kun?”
“Uh, stubborn, I guess?”
Should’ve said something nicer, but it slipped out. Oddly, Yoko-san looked pleased.
“Exactly. She’s bad at showing her true feelings—always hides them. As a mom, I hope she meets someone she can be herself with.”
Since reuniting, that’s bugged me too. Tons of friends, yet she keeps her heart locked away.
“So I’m glad you came back, but I feel I’m doing something unforgivable to you.”
“What… do you mean?”
I only feel gratitude—without her taking me in, I’d still be a shut-in.
“You might not get it now, but someday you’ll understand. When that happens, feel free to hate me.”
…Hate. A word so unlike the ever-kind Yoko-san.
“I could never, no matter what.”
“No. Do it.”
“But why…”
Her eyes turned firm.
“Just say ‘yes’ for now, even if it’s a lie. Please, Towa-kun.”
I didn’t grasp a thing, but her resolve shone through.
“…Yes.”
With my small reply, Yoko-san softened her tense face and smiled, “Thank you.”
Finishing weeding and returning to the boarding house, my T-shirt clung with sweat. …Gross. Time to change. With Shoji and Sasano away visiting family, I tugged at my shirt before entering my room. Then the front door opened—someone was back. Midriff bared, I locked eyes with Runa.
Normally, she’d toss a cold line or two, but she rushed past me.
“Hey, wait.”
Ignoring me, she slammed her door shut with a bang! Since the stargazing trip, Runa’s been like this. We’ve had silent spats before, but this avoidance is on another level. If she’s just mad, fine, but she shifts meal times and goes out more, maybe to dodge me.
“Runa.”
I knocked with her name. Two months since the leak mess. Repairs are mostly done, but her room’s still across from mine.
“Did I do something?”
She talks to Yoko-san fine but won’t face me. Even faking cheer, her brief glance earlier looked exhausted—dark circles, maybe sleepless.
No reply. Ear to the door, I heard faint sniffles. …Crying?
Am I hurting her? Or is it something else? She could talk to me instead of crying alone, but she says nothing.
“Can I come in?”
“…”
“I’m coming in.”
“No!”
Finally, a voice. I almost forced it open, but “Don’t come in, ever…” in her trembling tone stopped me.
“…Got it.”
I retreated to my room. Rejection’s not new, but this time, she’s scared of something. Trying to figure it out, I just groaned on my bed. Restless, my eyes caught something on the table—photos Sasano printed from the camp before leaving.
Barbecue shots, water play—all captured well. Lots of stargazing pics too, stars crisp despite the digital camera. Summer Triangle, Sagittarius, Scorpio—even Hercules faintly there.
I’d guessed night mode might work, but didn’t expect them this good.
“…Oh.”
One photo made me gasp. A cloud-like glow cut across the sky—blue, purple, navy, with orange flecks—the Milky Way. Stunning in person, it stood out even more in the picture.
…Galaxy, galaxy dust.
I remembered I’d half-started searching that. Like before, I typed “galaxy dust health issues” into my phone. The screen froze my thoughts.
—Grim Reaper Syndrome.
A term I’d never seen or heard snagged me.
“…Grim Reaper Syndrome… what?”
Curiosity drove me to tap and scroll through info.
Grim Reaper Syndrome. Affects only women. No known cause or cure. No symptoms in the afflicted. Its key trait…
“Takes the lifespan of those they love?”
Reading that, I froze like time stopped. Apparently, when it takes a life, galaxy-like dust rises from the target.
My hand holding the phone grew cold. Still, I couldn’t stop searching, digging into known cases.
The target doesn’t decline instantly but weakens gradually—loss of appetite, fatigue, slight fever, like early cold symptoms. Few doctors know of it, so even if the target dies as it worsens, it’s usually ruled heart failure or unknown cause.
The disease’s existence shocked me, but what raced my heart more was how it matched Runa’s life too perfectly.
“…If I like something, it ends up unhappy…”
Back then, I don’t know if she knew her illness. But it’s true the creatures she cherished weakened one by one.
Then Nakata-sensei too? He mentioned galaxy dust at our goodbye, and Runa liked him.
“I killed him.”
“Scary, right?”
So her dad too…? If she knows that, it fits her cryptic words. No proof yet, but my lingering questions started linking up.
I knew Runa was hiding something—something big. But this incomprehensible illness haunting her? Never crossed my mind.
Days passed, still no talk between me and Runa. Knowing she might have Grim Reaper Syndrome, I don’t know how to approach her. As I wrestled with it, the boarding house brightened up—Shoji and Sasano returned with souvenirs.
“Tsuzumin, long time! Wait, did you grow taller?”
“No way it changes that fast.”
“Haha, right, right!”
Shoji’s skin was tanner—maybe a beach trip with family. He should be wiped from visiting home, but his energy lifted me a bit.
“Runa, you lose weight? Summer fatigue?”
Sasano rushed to Runa first. Avoiding me entirely, she’d apparently kept in touch with Sasano.
“Yeah, summer fatigue. But I’m eating fine, so I’m okay.”
Runa smiled again, but to me, her eyes lacked spark. Even if she has it, the syndrome shows no symptoms in her—maybe it’s just fatigue or mental strain.
That night, we all ate together for the first time in a while. Maybe relieved by their return, Runa seemed to enjoy the meal.
“Hey, wanna do fireworks after? Family loaded me with tons.”
Eating jelly Sasano brought, Shoji piped up.
“Didn’t do them at home?”
“We were gonna. Went to the beach nearby, and guess what, guess what, guess what!”
“Spit it out. Not a cheesy infomercial.”
“Sea turtles were laying eggs! Seriously moving. Turtle moms are amazing—moms are just great! That night, I thanked my mom for giving birth to me with a shoulder rub!”
Story jumped, but basically, they skipped fireworks for the turtles and brought them back for us.
The girls had prep to do, so me and Shoji went out first to set up buckets. Even with the sun down, it was muggy, though the cicadas had quieted. Summer break was nearly over. Once the new term starts, seasons’ll shift fast again, I bet.
“Any progress with Runa-chan, Tsuzumin?”
Shoji stacked pebbles to prop up candles from the firework set.
“Nope. She’s avoiding me so hard it’s a step back.”
“Lame. Me and Kaho-chan even stretched our visits a bit after talking it over.”
True, their week-long plan turned into ten days. That backfired—I got ignored for ten straight days.
“Nothing happen at your place?”
“Nah. Oh, girl-wise, one thing—thought my dog was male, but it’s female.”
“What’s that?” I deadpanned, but it clicked. Grim Reaper Syndrome only affects men, per the info. If it applies to animals, it explains why Usako, a female before Usakichi, stayed healthy.
“Sorry for the wait.”
Sasano’s voice came. Turning, I saw her in a yukata—Yoko-san’s work, probably.
“Ohhh!!”
Shoji’s hype echoed. “Come on,” Sasano urged, pulling Runa out. The clack of geta sandals neared. She lifted her shy face, and my heart leapt.
Runa wore a white yukata with nadeshiko flower patterns, a red obi tied like butterflies, hair softly pinned with a tortoiseshell kanzashi.
“Tsuzumi-kun, what do you think? Runa’s cute, right?”
“Uh, y-yeah.”
I wanted to say something, but no good words came. More than cute, Runa was beautiful.
We started with handheld fireworks. The gunpowder smell screamed summer but hinted at its end. Runa stuck to Sasano, enjoying it. Hearing her innocent laugh eased me, though I couldn’t see her true feelings.
“Time for the big ones!”
Shoji set up a rocket. Pop! A giant flower bloomed in the sky. For a split second, our eyes met. Runa, framed by fireworks, looked so graceful I wanted to stare forever. Her lips seemed to move slightly. But as the rocket faded, our gaze broke.
“Everyone want watermelon?”
Yoko-san peeked from the porch, holding a net with a plump melon. We all said yes, and Sasano volunteered, “I’ll help cut!”
“No, Kaho, I’ll go.”
“Stay here, Runa. Oh, Shoji-kun, come too.”
“Huh, me?”
“You wanna cut it, right?”
“Not really…”
“You wanna, don’t you?” Sasano pressed. Catching her drift—or caving—he said, “I wanna cut it!” and followed inside.
No doubt, Sasano set this up to leave us alone. The air between me and Runa must be that heavy to warrant it.
“They’ll be a while. Let’s do sparklers.”
“…”
“Sit next to me.”
Urged, Runa quietly crouched.
Lighting a sparkler from a candle, the crackling sounded like soda fizzing.
Some say a sparkler’s like a life. It smolders at first, then forms a fireball, scattering light like arrows or bundles. After a few bursts, it weakens, droops, and falls, leaving only summer’s fleeting echo.
Where are we on that sparkler? Maybe scared to burn out short, we haven’t even lit it. What do I know about Runa? What have I seen?
Maybe I don’t know her at all.
“Runa… do you have Grim Reaper Syndrome?”
The question slipped out like a breath, and her sparkler flared unevenly in her jolt.
“Why do you…”
“Please, don’t lie.”
She looked shocked but calmed fast. She must’ve realized I’d see through any dodge once I asked.
I wanted her to tilt her head and say, “What’s that?”
I wanted her to say, “No, that’s not it.”
But her answer was…
“Yeah.”
The moment she spoke, both our fireballs dropped. The light died, yet my eyes saw only her.
“I’m a reaper who takes the lives of those I love.”
She’d probably denied herself while accepting it, a resolve born from inescapable pain.
I couldn’t ask when it started.
It just hurt.
What had she felt all this time?
How many days had she cried, regretting what she’d done unknowingly?
Who knew what hid behind her bright smiles? Thinking of it hurt too much.
But unlike the faded sparkler, a fierce light bloomed in my heart—my “like” for her, unextinguished no matter what she carried.
I don’t want to let go. I reached for her hand—she swatted it away hard.
“I don’t want to take your life, Towa.”
Her trembling voice rang with the sad clack of geta as she left me.
Left with just feelings, the second term began at school. Students buzzing with summer tales soon faced desks again. I’d barely submitted piles of homework when a pop quiz hit first period.
“Ugh… Runa. I totally bombed math.”
“It’s okay, Miyo-chan. Me too.”
“Seriously, Runa, you’re an angel! Just having you here heals me.”
“What’s that about?”
As always, Runa roamed outside class, in the noisy crowd. People even visited our room to get close to her—her popularity might’ve spiked since last term.
“I’m a reaper who takes the lives of those I love.”
How many times have I replayed that in my head? I scoured articles on this weird disease, even hit the city library—rare for me. But they all said the same stuff, ending with a lazy “still under investigation.”
Knowing Runa has it, it still doesn’t feel real. I can’t imagine how I’d feel in her shoes. But her fake smiles and why she hid her heart—I get that now. Acting bright to avoid suspicion, she might’ve fought alone, blaming herself, knowing she’s not normal.
After school, choir voices filled the halls. My feet sped straight to astronomy club. Opening the door, Runa sat there, glued in place. She had to know we’d be alone, so I figured she’d skip, but she was silently reading a constellation book.
“I’ve got that one—want it later?”
I sat beside her. She didn’t look, but I knew she sensed me.
“Hey, Runa-chan. Can you hear me?”
Teasing, I called out. She snapped the book shut, annoyed.
“Stop it. Why sit next to me?”
“Wanted to.”
“Why say something so childish?”
“I’m a minor—still a kid.”
“That’s not what I mean. Smart Towa should get it, right?”
“You stopped calling me ‘you.’”
“Cut it out…!!”
Her shout stood her up. The chair crashed back, but she kept glaring.
“I said I have Grim Reaper Syndrome, right? You asked knowing that, so you’ve researched it too?”
Guess my moves are obvious to her.
“Yeah. Nearly gave me a fever from all the info.”
“Then you know. I really have a disease that takes lives. I want to control it, but I can’t.”
Her hands, clasped tight over her chest, dug nails in from fear.
“But it’s not random. It’s only those you like, right?”
Always wondered why she’s cold just to me. Why she pulls away every time I get close.
“I want to protect you, Towa.”
Why she said that then.
“You’re a red flag to me.”
Why she only avoids me.
“You don’t want to take my life—so that means you like me?”
Otherwise, she wouldn’t push me away this hard. If I meant nothing, she’d treat me like everyone else.
“Don’t flatter yourself. I’m just setting a boundary.”
She obviously looked away.
“You like me, right?”
“Hah… conceited. Ridiculous.”
“Be ridiculous—just answer, Runa.”
She slung her bag over her shoulder and walked to the door.
“Please, Towa. Don’t get involved with me anymore.”
Those eyes were, as ever, deeply scared.
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